Changed
by Khockeygrl4
Summary: Tobias and Beatrice become the best of friends in Abnegation. But when Tobias leaves for Dauntless to get away from his abusive father, what happens when Marcus turns his anger towards Beatrice? How will she survive the next two years until she can get away? Or better yet, will she be able to? Please read, the story is A LOT better than the summary! And REVIEW! Mostly Tris's POV.
1. Chapter 1

**Summary: Tobias and Beatrice become the best of friends in Abnegation. But when Tobias leaves for Dauntless to get away from his abusive father, what happens when Marcus turns his anger towards Beatrice? How will she survive the next two years until she can get away? Or better yet, will she be able to? Please read, the story is A LOT better than the summary! And REVIEW! Mostly Tris's POV.**

* * *

**Beatrice's POV: **(13 years old)

"Toby!" I scream, as I tackle him to the ground. We both roll around, laughing.

Tobias, well I call him Toby, is my bestest friend. I've known him since forever, and we tell each other everything. He's two years older than me, but he says that doesn't matter. He's never treated me like a little kid.

"Bea! Did you have to tackle me?" he asks, with a silly smile on his face. We get up, and start walking home from school, like we always do together. My brother Caleb never walks with us, but that's okay.

"Yes I did," I say, sticking my tongue out at him. I love how I can always act like myself when I'm with Toby. When I'm around everyone else, I have to act Abnegation, and I sometimes can't do that. I don't think I'm cut out for Abnegation.

"Fine, just warn me next time," he says, shoving me a little. I just laugh, and we continue on home, talking about random things.

When we get to my house, I turn to Toby. "Will we always be bestest friends, Toby?" I ask him.

He smiles at me, and then says, "Of course, Bea! Forever and ever!" He pulls me into a hug, like we always do when we say goodbye, and I walk happily into my house. I'm glad I have such an amazing best friend.

* * *

*******ONE YEAR LATER*******

"Hey Toby," I say as I walk up to him at the park. Toby and I meet up at the park a couple days every week. It's just something we do, and I love it. It's always fun hanging out with Toby.

He's sitting on the swing, and glances up to me when I walk up and sit on the swing next to him. Weird, he normally says hi back.

"What's wrong?" I ask, and he still doesn't look at me. After a few moments, he turns to me, and sighs.

"It's nothing, Bea. Don't worry about it," he says, but he doesn't sound like the happy Toby I know.

I stand up and walk in front of him. "No Toby. Something's wrong. You've been acting weird for months. I thought you were just being weird, but I'm starting to really worry about you," I say, trying to read his face.

A couple months ago, Toby started to act differently. He never seems to smile anymore, or look happy at all, except maybe when it's just us two. He keeps telling me he has a lot going on, but I still think it's something else. We've never kept secrets from each other, so I don't know why he won't tell me.

He stands up from the swing, and wraps his arms around me. Now I'm definitely alarmed. He never hugs me until we say goodbye.

"Toby, please talk to me," I say, hoping he'll tell me whatever is bothering him.

"Bea, there's…" he starts, but I interrupt him.

"No Toby, I know there is something wrong. Quit telling me there isn't," I say louder. I'm starting to get a little angry. Why can't he just tell me?

He sits back down on the swing, and I sit on the one next to him again. He's quiet, and I wait for him to say something.

And I still wait, a few minutes going by.

I sigh. "Is this about tomorrow? Have you been worried about it for months?" I ask. Tomorrow is his choosing ceremony. He took his test today. We're not supposed to talk about it, so that's why I never brought it up, but maybe he's actually thinking about leaving me. My best friend can't leave me.

He finally looks over to me, and I see pain in his eyes. This can't be good.

"Bea…." He starts, but is silent once again.

I stare at the ground. "You're leaving me, aren't you?" I ask quietly, dreading his reply.

He stands up, and then kneels in front of me, so he's looking up at me while I'm on the swing.

I stare into his eyes, trying to read what they're trying to tell me. Why would he want to leave me? I can't imagine life without my best friend, my only friend.

"Bea, I can't… I just can't." He's quiet for another moment, the silence surrounding us, and then he says, "I'm not leaving you," and a small smile appears on his face, but it doesn't reach his eyes.

I stare at him for a moment, then say, "You promise?"

He's quiet again for a moment, and then finally says, "Yes, I promise."

I smile, and then wrap my arms around him. I was actually really worried about him leaving. But now I don't have to worry anymore!

We end up just sitting on the swings the rest of the time, just talking like we normally do. I try to ignore how Toby is acting a little different, but it's a little hard. We walk home together like always, and I try to stop thinking about how this could've been the last time we walked home together, if he chose differently tomorrow. But he told me he's not leaving, so there's nothing to worry about, right? He promised.

Then why do I keep worrying?

He gives me my goodbye hug, and I can't help but notice he holds me for a little bit longer tonight.

Everything's going to be alright.

Right?

*******PAGE BREAK*******

I sit next to my parents in the Abnegation section. I notice Toby's dad sit next to my dad. I look around, and I find Toby, but he doesn't look up at me. The whole ceremony he never looks over to me.

The speech at the beginning flies by; I don't pay attention to but Toby.

All too soon, they call his name and he walks up to the stage. I wish he could just look over to me, smile at me like he always does, so I know everything's okay. I mean, he told me he wasn't leaving me, promised me, but why does it feel like he is?

I watch as he runs the blade of the knife over his palm, and blood arises. He holds his arm out, extending it over a bowl.

I instantly go numb as I hear the sizzling of the coals.

He left me.

I don't even notice Marcus stand up. I don't notice the gasps from everyone in Abnegation. I don't notice the cheers from the Dauntless.

I barely see Toby's lips move, as he stares at me. _I'm sorry._

I feel a tear roll down my cheek.

He lied to me. He left me.

He walks over to the Dauntless section and sits down. The rest of the world stops for me. Nothing else matters, because I just lost my best friend.

* * *

*******ELEVEN MONTHS LATER*******

It's been eleven months, and three weeks since Toby left me. I only know this because the choosing ceremony is next week.

A lot has happened since then. If I told someone everything that's happened in the last almost year, they wouldn't believe me. But it doesn't matter, because I can't tell anyone anyway.

About a week after Toby left, my mom called me over to talk when I got home from school.

*******FLASHBACK*******

"Beatrice, honey, can you come here for a minute?" I hear mom call from the kitchen.

I walk in, and she smiles at me.

"Honey, I talked to Mr. Eaton today. He came to me to ask a favor. Well, since Tobias left, he seems to not be able to keep the house clean and do all of the chores by himself. He asked me if either you or Caleb would be able to come over some nights to help him around the house," she explains. I don't want to be in that house, it would remind me too much of Toby. I miss him already, and he's only been gone a week.

As much as I don't want to be in Toby's old house, I know it would be selfish of me to not help Toby's dad. I could always make Caleb do it, but he seems super busy with school nowadays.

*******END FLASHBACK*******

If I had a chance to go back to that day, I don't know if I would've changed my answer. I mean, it would save me all the pain I've had to endure over the past year, but I don't want to think about what would've happened to Caleb if he was the one who chose to help Marcus.

I don't think of Marcus as Toby's dad anymore, he doesn't deserve that title. And as much as I want to hate Toby for leaving me, I can't, because I now know why he did it.

He did it to get away from his abusive father.

But I can hate Toby for a different reason. I hate him for leaving me with Marcus.

I hate him for not warning me, not telling me. Instead of Toby being Marcus's punching bag, he now uses me.

*******FLASHBACK*******

Today was my first day going to Mr. Eaton's house. I got there right after school, just like I was supposed to.

I am now curled up in my bed, trying to force the tears to stop. It's close to midnight, but there is no way I'll be able to sleep tonight. I'm terrified.

He beat me. He whipped me with his belt. He threatened me.

I never thought someone could be so cruel. I still see his angry face when I close my eyes. I don't know what I did to make him so angry though.

When I got there, he told me to help clean around the house. But after only a few minutes, he shoved me against the wall, and hit me. I didn't know what was going on. I still don't.

He punched me in the stomach, and a few times bashed my head against the wall, and I became dizzy. Then he took off his belt, and it only got worse.

When he was finally done whipping me, the welts on my back throbbing, he tightly wrapped his hand around my neck, and held me against the wall. He then menacingly whispered, "Now you're not going to tell anyone what happened today, or I will kill your entire family, understand? And I'll kill them if you don't show up here when you're told to, also."

I ran home after that, went straight to my room, and silently cried.

*******END FLASHBACK*******

I never dared to not show up. There was no doubt in my mind that if I didn't show up, he would kill my family. So every other day, I would show up at his house, and get beaten.

My appearance has changed a lot over the last year, or so I think. My body has filled out; I look a little older than a twelve year old. I've noticed from the few reflections I've seen of myself that my face looks fuller, and a lot harder than it used to because of all the beatings.

Nobody ever suspected a thing. I got good at hiding the pain, and the bruises and welts were kept hidden by my baggy clothing.

I eventually became numb to it. I don't cry anymore; don't scream when the belt beats against my skin. I learned that crying or screaming fuels him. So the quieter I am, the less the beating will be.

I was starting to give up hope. Recently, the beatings were getting worse and worse. I didn't know why either, but I knew I wasn't going to be able to survive them much longer.

About a month ago, I had thought about suicide. To me, suicide is the most selfish thing a person can do. But I figured, I had been selfless for so long, I could be selfish for once and end my misery. I mean, there wasn't a light at the end of the tunnel for me. I had over a year until I could possibly get away, at my own choosing ceremony. But I knew there was no way I would be able to survive another year of this.

But about a month ago, I found the hope I needed. The choosing ceremony. It's the reason that Marcus's beatings were becoming worse, because that's the day Toby left him. But I had thought, maybe I could somehow get into this coming choosing ceremony. I was going to choose at age fifteen, not sixteen.

So that's what I did. I had talked to my dad, and I told him I wanted to learn more about the computers and help out with entering data at the government where he works. And with a little convincing, on the days I didn't go to Marcus's, I went with my dad to work and he taught me how to use the computers. Surprisingly, I am very good with computers.

It didn't take long for me to figure out how to enter data, and one day when everyone was at lunch, I created my new identity; Tris Bea (original, I know). I entered fake aptitude results and everything, to make it believable. And now, in one week, I will finally get away from this hell.

And I know exactly where I'm going; where I know I'm meant to be. I'm going to Dauntless.

*******PAGE BREAK*******

Today is my last day in hell. Today is the last day I'll ever have to endure Marcus's beatings, because tomorrow is the choosing ceremony. I'm doing something that has never been done before. I'm choosing when I'm fifteen. But nobody knows this, and probably only one person other than me will ever know.

I arrive at Marcus's just like always. I stand in the hallway, waiting for him to come around the corner and start the torture.

I hear him before I see him. I usually keep my eyes closed; it's a little more bearable when I don't see it coming. But something seems different about tonight, and it gives me a really bad feeling.

I open my eyes, and see a very drunk Marcus. I've never seen people drink, only have heard about it because its look upon as selfish, so nobody in Abnegation drinks.

But I can tell he's drunk, by his slouched posture and his staggering step. At first I think maybe tonight won't be as bad, because he might pass out soon from the looks of it.

I couldn't have been more wrong.

He first shoves me against the wall, my head hitting it hard. Usually, he steers clear of my face and head, because those are the most visible to see injuries, but I can see tonight he doesn't care.

He keeps shoving my head against the wall, and my vision becomes blurry. I fall to the floor, and try to move away from him, but he just kicks me in the stomach.

Minutes pass by, and I can feel myself losing consciousness. The beatings have never been bad enough where I become unconscious, but tonight's different.

Tonight is definitely different, and not in a good way.

Just before I succumb to the darkness, I feel my shirt being taken off.

*******PAGE BREAK*******

I slowly wake up, my head throbbing profusely. I lay there for a moment, trying to remember what happened. I realize I'm in a bed, and when I open my eyes, it looks like I'm in my room. But I can tell it's not my room, even though all the rooms in Abnegation look alike, mine feels different.

I slowly sit up, and the covers fall down to reveal my bare chest.

I gasp, lift the covers and see my body, completely naked. A red mark on the sheets alerts me to my body, and I finally feel all the pain.

Along with the pain of my head, there is a pain below my midsection; a pain I don't want to think about.

I jump out of the bed, grab the clothes that are on the floor, and quickly put them on, ignoring the pain screaming at me.

I run out of the house, tears falling down my face. I had gone so long without crying, but I can't hold them in after I was raped.

Its dark out, but I can tell the sun will be rising soon. I don't know how long I was out. I make it to my house, and rush into the bathroom. I jump in the shower, not caring if I wake anyone in my house, I have to wash him off me.

After what seems like hours, but only a little while passed, I get out and go to my room. I put on new clothes, and find a piece of paper and pen. For now, I'm going to forget about what happened to me. I need to get through today; I need to continue on with my plan. It's the only way I'll survive.

I sit down, and start to write the last words I'll probably ever say to my family.

_Dear mom and dad, and Caleb too,_

_I'm sorry, but I'm leaving. I can't explain why, and I don't think you'd believe me even if I did. I just have to leave. I've never been able to be completely selfless, like you want me to. Please know that I love you all so much, but I can't do this any longer. _

_I can't tell you where I'm going, and I don't know if I'll ever see any of you ever again. I only have one request for you. Don't trust Marcus Eaton. Whatever he tells you, whatever he does, don't trust him. And don't let Caleb go over there to "help" him with anything, ever._

_Please be safe, and maybe someday we will meet again._

_I love you,_

_Beatrice._

Short and sweet, but I don't have much time left. I look at the clock, and it's almost 7 am, and my parents usually get up between 7 and 8. I place the note on the kitchen table, where I know they will read it when they have breakfast.

I know they won't be at the choosing ceremony today. I try not to think about how I may never see them again as I walk out of the front door.

*******PAGE BREAK*******

I make my way into the Abnegation section, and keep my head down. I know Marcus is here somewhere. But there is no way he's ruining my moment to be free.

Like last year, I don't pay attention to anything before my new name being called. _Tris Bea._

I walk up, while keeping my head down, and I take the knife.

This is it. It's actually happening. I can finally get away.

I daringly look up, and my eyes meet the ones of the devil himself. His eyes widen as I run the blade across my palm, and while not even breaking eye contact, my hand goes over the coals and I hear the same sizzling I heard when Toby left last year.

I make my way over to the Dauntless section, and I take one last, final look at Marcus, and I see confusion and anger written all over his face.

I sit down, and take a deep breath.

My new life has officially started.

I am now free.

* * *

**So what do you think? I know it seems a little farfetched, and a little scattered, but if I continue it, it will get better. I don't have a lot of time on my hands to write, so if I get more chapters up, it will practically be a miracle. I would love to read your reviews!**


	2. Chapter 2

**Tris's POV**

I did it. I actually did it. I finally got away from that monster. I can finally start my life, the way I want to live it.

The ceremony ends, and the Dauntless rush out of the room, and I follow on their heels. We race down the stairs, and my body screams in pain from what happened last night, but I continue on. We make our way out of the building and I can see we're running towards the train tracks as a train nears.

Normally I would be a little terrified of trying to jump on a moving train, but right now, this train is my ticket to get as far away from here as possible, and I'm getting on. I slow my pace along with the other transfers as we watch the Dauntless kids jump on, them making it look pretty easy.

We all pick up our pace, each one of us leading the other, and I grab the bar on the side of the car, and pull myself up, with another transfer helping me in. I turn around and help the girl behind me, and the three of us sit and catch our breaths.

"Thanks for the help," the girl says to me. "I'm Christina."

"Tris," I say to her. I haven't talked to kids my age in forever, not since Toby left. I pretty much shut myself off from everyone after that.

"Thanks for helping me," I say to the boy next to us. He smiles at us, and then says, "I'm Will."

After a few moments, I get up and stand next to the car door. I stare out at the world as it passes by, and I'm amazed by it all. It's been so long since I've just looked at the world around me; I've spent the last year just trying to survive. I smile, probably the first real smile I've had since Toby.

I take a moment to think about Toby, something I try not to do often, because when I do I usually get pissed. My best friend left me alone in hell. But I can't help but wonder if I'll see him here, in Dauntless. There's no way he would recognize me; I barely recognize myself. I'm definitely not the same girl I was a year ago, because so much has changed.

I start to notice the train is getting higher, and we're close to the tops of the buildings. I hear people start to talk, and some of them say we're supposed to jump on one of the buildings up ahead. Again, normally this would scare me, but I'm not normal anymore.

I watch as the Dauntless in the cars in front of ours jump, each making their way on to the building. I turn to look at Christina and Will, and they both look a little scared.

"You guys ready?" I say, hoping they are. They seem nice; maybe we can all be friends in Dauntless. Maybe they won't stab me in the back.

They nod, and we all run and leap, landing on the building. I roll a little, not landing the way I wanted, and my back scrapes against the ground, the wounds there tearing open. My eyes water, but I contain the scream that was threatening to escape my mouth by biting my sleeve. I can't let people think I'm weak.

I stay on my hands and knees for a few moments, my teeth still tightly chomped on my sleeve, until the pain subsides, and then I get up. Christina gives me a weird look, but I just make my way over to the group.

"My name is Max," a big guy says at the front of the group. "I am a leader here in Dauntless. Congratulations for making it this far in our initiation. Now, you've made it onto the roof, now is the time to get off the roof," he says, and he gestures with his arm over the ledge.

They want us to jump.

A few kids start panicking, shouting "this is crazy" and "are you serious?" I don't know why I call them kids, when everyone is at least a year older than me, but whatever.

Now back to jumping off the roof. I figure they wouldn't make us jump to our death; that would be a terrible initiation process. So there has to be something that will stop us.

As people keep talking, more like trying to find another way off the building; I make my way towards the ledge. I would probably take off the extra-large Abnegation shirt I have on, if there wasn't blood stains all over the one under it from the wounds that had just reopened.

I hear someone shout something about me being a stiff, and that only gives me the extra motivation I need to jump.

I bend my knees, propel myself forward, and fall.

Falling is an amazing feeling. I feel the wind rush around me, cocooning my body, surrounding everything until there is nothing left of me. I forget about the world; I forget about my past. Nothing else exists other than this moment right now.

But all too soon, the wonderful feeling is gone, when my body is stopped by a net. The rope claws on my back, twisting me, and a cry of pain releases from my mouth before I can stop it. I wish I could go back to falling, so I wouldn't have these open wounds on my back, on my body, hindering me and reminding me of my past.

I slowly make my way towards the edge of the net, and I see two pairs of eyes staring at me. Probably wondering why I screamed.

One of them, the boy, reaches his hand out for me, to help me down. I don't look at his face as I take his hand, and jump down.

"What's your name?" the girl asks me.

I wait a second, to regain my breath and to will the pain running through my body to stop.

"Think about it, you don't get to pick again," the boy says.

"Tris," I say boldly, knowing that this is who I am now.

"Make the announcement, Four," the girl says.

Four turns to the side, and shouts, "First jumper, Tris!" and the place erupts in cheer. I glance over at this Four guy, and can't help but wonder if he could be Toby. He sort of looks like him, but at the same time, doesn't look at all like him.

My thoughts are interrupted by a scream behind me, from Christina, who had just jumped onto the net.

*******PAGE BREAK*******

After everyone had jumped, Four split us up into the transfers and the Dauntless borns; the transfers going with him.

"Alright. My name is Four, and I will be your instructor," Four says, as he starts to lead us on a tour.

"Four? What kind of name is that?" Christina asks next to me.

Four stops and the group stops walking too. He quickly makes his way over to us, and stares down Christina.

"You have a problem with my name, Candor?" he whispers to her.

"Nnnn…no," she stammers, intimidated by him. I am too; the glare in his eyes reminding me of Marcus.

"Good. Now as I was saying before I was rudely interrupted," he says as he starts leading the group again, "is this is the Pit. You will learn to love it."

He then leads us to a place called the Chasm, the rushing water drowning out his voice, and I stand there looking down below. It reminds me of the freeness I felt when I jumped.

"Hey Stiff!" someone calls, waking me from my haze. I turn around, to see the whole group staring at me. I just make my way over to Christina, while wishing I could stare at the running water all day.

Four then leads us to the dormitories. We each pick a bunk, and Four speaks up again.

"Okay, we have an hour until lunch, so you have free time now until then. After lunch we will head to the training room, and start the next part of initiation," he explains, and then he exits the room, leaving us on our own.

"So what should we do, Tris?" Christina asks me as her and Will walk over.

I think it over for a moment, and then say, "I think I'd like to just walk around on my own, if that's alright," I tell them. There are a few things I need to do, that I wouldn't like an audience for.

Christina is a little upset by my answer, but she says fine, and the two of them take off. I leave the dorms, and head towards the Pit. I need some new clothes, and I don't think I'd enjoy shopping with Christina today. It's been a pretty rough day.

I end up finding the Pit pretty easily, still remembering where everything is from the tour. I end up getting some black pants, a black under shirt, and a black long sleeves, all tighter than anything I've ever worn in Abnegation. I also get some cream for my back, hoping I'll be able to apply it to stop the pain.

I make my way back to the dorms, hoping nobody is there. When I get there, I'm relieved to find it empty. I grab my new clothes, and take them into the bathroom with me, and turn on the shower. I've never had a warm shower, but I hope the warmth will help the open wounds covering my body.

I start to undress, letting the water warm up. I take off the extra-large shirt first, and then work on getting the shirt underneath it off. The second I start to lift it up, the pain intensifies. The wounds have started to heal to the shirt, making it extremely painful. I slowly lift it, clenching my teeth, as tears form in my eyes. The wounds reopen as I pull the shirt off, and I feel the fresh blood seep from my back.

I get the rest of my clothes off, and throw them in a pile by the door. I quickly jump into the shower, hoping the blood pooling from my skin doesn't trip to the floor. The water burns my back as I enter, but the pain starts to subside a little.

I probably have about a half hour until lunch, so I take this time to finally let all the pain, the hurt I've been feeling out. I sit down in the shower, and pull my knees to my head. My tears mix with the water, and I just cry, remembering everything that's happened to me in the past year. All the pain, physically and emotionally, that has been hidden inside me rushes out all at once.

I get lost in it. I get lost in the memories, and I start to see Marcus in my head, making his way towards me. I clench my eyes tighter, and my crying turns into screams.

"Just leave me alone!" I scream at him, as I hug my knees tighter. I can't see anything but his face.

I hear a noise, that sounds far away, but I'm too lost to understand it.

"Get away from me!" I scream again, wishing this nightmare away.

"Please," I whisper, hoping for once he won't hurt me.

Then all of a sudden, he's gone. I lift my head, and remember where I am. The water, now cold, still beats against my skin. I don't know how long I've been in here, or if anyone heard me, but I quickly finish showering, grab a towel and step out.

I pull the cream out of the bag, and carefully reach behind me and apply it to my aching back. I then put the new clothes I got on, and then I stare at myself in the mirror. My face is a little red from crying, but other than that I look pretty tough.

I grab my old, stained clothes, and throw them into the garbage. I then make my way out of the bathroom, and am shocked to see someone sitting on a bed, staring at me.

"Tris, right?" he asks, as I make my way over to my new bed. I sit down, facing away from him. He didn't hear me, right?

I roll over, and carefully lay on my back, wincing a little as I do. Great, he probably saw that, since he's still staring at me.

"Yea," I say, staring at the bunk above mine. I don't want to talk to him; I don't want to talk to anyone right now. I just want this to be over. I want everything to be over. I want to feel free again.

I hear him get up from the bed he was sitting on, and he makes his way over to me. When he's next to my bed, he puts his arms on the bunk above mine and leans on it, staring at me. Concern written all over his face.

I never thought he could look concerned when I first met him.

I close my eyes, not wanting to think about how he must have heard something, if not all of what happened. I don't even know what happened.

"Are….are you alright?" he asks, sounding unsure as to what he should say.

I decide to ignore his question, so I say, "What time is it?"

I then look over at him, and I don't see the hard look of Four anymore. I see Toby.

So it is him. I can tell by the look in his eyes. I don't know how, but just by the way he is looking at me right now, I can tell it's him.

And as much as I want to scream at him, I want to punch him and make him hurt for leaving me, I'm too weak right now to care. I'm just too tired; more emotionally than anything.

I look away, not wanting to see Toby anymore, and he finally replies. "Lunch is in a few minutes. Are you going to answer my question?" he asks a little more confidently.

I turn onto my side, my back facing him, and I close my eyes. Maybe if I just lay here, everything will go away. The pain, my past, the tiredness, even Toby. I want everything to just go away.

"Tris, did someone…hurt you?" he asks, and all of a sudden the pain on my back intensifies again, from where he just laid his hand down on it. I inhale through my teeth, wince away from his touch, and jump off the bed.

"Don't touch me!" I scream at him, and try to calm my breathing as the pain subsides again.

He just stares at me, eyes wide. I then start towards the door, not wanting to explain everything to him now, if not ever. Like I keep saying, I just want to be done.

As I go to walk by him, he steps in front of me, careful to not touch me though. My eyes are glued to the ground, because I don't want to stare into his eyes.

"Just….forget about whatever you saw or heard, okay?" I say, hoping he'll just drop it.

But if he's anything like the Toby I used to know, I know he won't. He sighs, and then starts talking.

"I was actually coming to look for you when I heard a scream. I thought someone was in trouble, so I opened the door, and saw those clothes on the ground, covered in blood. You were screaming for someone to leave you alone, but after a moment I figured out you were alone. Tris…if you want to talk," he starts, but I just shake my head, knowing I don't want to talk about it.

"Okay then. Well I came looking for you because I wanted to ask you something. Since you came from Abnegation, I was wondering if you knew a Beatrice Prior there. She is a year younger than you," he says, and I try to mask the shock that tries to fill my face. He's actually asking about me? Does he still care about me?

No, I can answer that one. He wouldn't have left me alone in hell if he did. Beatrice Prior died yesterday, when Marcus took something from her. I almost tell him that, that she no longer lives, because I'm now a new person. But I don't want to see what his reaction would be if I did say that.

So instead, I finally look up at him, I just say, "Yeah, I knew her," but before he can ask anything else, I walk around him and rush out of the room, ignoring his calls for me to stop.

And I run towards the Chasm, towards my new safe haven, not even caring about lunch.

* * *

**So there's chapter two, I hope you liked it! Hopefully I'll be able to write more soon! Please review!**


	3. Chapter 3

**Tris's POV**

I sit next to the railing near the chasm, just watching the water, and letting the noise drown out my thoughts.

Luckily Four didn't follow me. I'm too tired to talk to him, even though I know he's going to seek me out sometime to ask me more questions. Toby never let things go, and I can tell this Four won't either.

I wonder why he changed his name. It's probably a nickname. I have no idea what it could mean, but I don't think I'll be asking him about it anytime soon. If I wasn't so drained; emotionally, physically, and mentally, I'd probably punch him. He deserves so much more than that though.

I don't want to hate Toby, I really don't. But when I think about everything that's happened to me, it's hard not to. He should have told me what Marcus did to him, so I would've known to stay away from him. But no, he was too selfish to tell me, and so my life became hell.

I hear someone walk up behind me, and I instantly stiffen. Ever since Marcus, I've been weary of everything, of everyone, and so I don't trust people very often.

I slowly turn around, and see Four, carrying a tray of food.

I sigh, and turn back to stare at the running water. I'm not hungry, too tired. I haven't had a good night's sleep in years, and I was knocked unconscious last night so I don't feel rested either. Also just with everything that's happened in the last two days, well, I feel like I could sleep and never wake up. If only.

Four walks over to me, and sits down about a foot away, placing the tray in between us.

"You need to eat," he says, staring at the water like I am.

"Why do you even care?" I ask, not bothering to looking at him. There's a part inside of me that wishes we could go back to two years ago, before Marcus started abusing him, abusing me, and we were just best friends. Back when we told each other everything, and I knew he cared for me.

He's quiet for a moment, and then he picks up a roll of bread, holds it out in front of me and says, "Eat. Now."

I wish I had some energy in me right now, because that comment pissed me off a little. He can't tell me what to do! But I'm too weak to even argue with him, so I just grab the bread and take a bite. It's still slightly warm.

We're quiet for a few moments, both just staring at the rushing water. So much has changed, for the both of us. I can tell, even though I don't know what has happened in the last year for him.

I see him look over at me in my peripheral, and I resist the urge to look back at him.

He sighs, looks away, and then says, "I can tell someone has hurt you." I think about leaving, getting away from where this conversation is going, but I don't, and I just continue eating the food he brought.

He then continues. "You didn't scream when you jumped from the roof, but when you hit the net you did, like landing on the net caused you physical pain. And I saw your clothes, soaked in blood. But it's your face that gives it away. You try so hard to hide it, but I've seen that face so many times, I know what it means."

I can tell he's referring to himself, just by the way he talks. He's saying he used to have this face, where you try to hide the pain, the hurt, everything that you're feeling behind a mask.

"But Tris, you're safe now. Whoever did this to you, can't hurt you anymore. It took me a long time to realize that, but you…" he says, but I cut him off by saying, "Shut up," still not looking at him.

"Just shut up, okay? You don't know anything," I say, willing myself not to cry. He probably already thinks I'm weak.

"Tris, you're not alone…" he starts, but again I cut him off, finally looking over to him.

"I am alone! I've been alone for a year now, because…..beacause…!" I try to say because of you, but I can't. I just can't. I'm getting angry though. My bloods starting to boil, so I stand up. He stands up to, waiting for me to continue.

"You don't know anything!" I scream at him again. Tears start to form in my eyes. I tangle my hands in my hair, let out a scream, and clench my eyes shut, willing everything to just stop!

Four takes a cautious step towards me, as if to try and calm me down, but it only makes things worse. I open my eyes to him, pure hatred portraying in them, and before even registering the thought, my clenched fist is propelled towards his face.

He easily dodges it, grabbing my wrist as it passes by him, and holds it tight.

"Tris, stop," he starts to say, but I try again to hit him, this time with my other hand, but again he easily moves away and catches it, now holding both wrists against his chest. We're close, too close for my comfort, especially after what happened yesterday.

The anger starts to subside, and is quickly replaced by panic, but as I stare into his eyes, I only see Toby staring back at me. He would never do what Marcus did to me. I feel myself start to deflate.

"Tris, I'm not the person you're angry at," he calmly says, staring back into my eyes. I close my eyes and push him away from me, and he lets go of my wrists.

"Ha, that's what you think," I whisper, unsure if he heard that over the chasm. I look up at him again, and see him looking at me as if trying to solve a puzzle. I take a deep breath, to calm myself down.

I hate how he's so calm and collective, while I'm over here bursting at the seams. I may end up regretting it, but I decide to ask him a question anyway.

I take a step towards him, not too close for my comfort again, and stare into his eyes as I say, "What would you say if I told you Beatrice Prior is dead?"

I watch him, trying to see how he'll react to the thought of me being dead. His eyes widen as his brows furrow in confusion. He takes a step back, as if my words pushed him away.

"I…I would say you were lying," he says slowly. "There's no way she could be…" he can't seem to say it. He still pictures me as the 14 year old he left behind in Abnegation, not the bruised, battered, beaten girl I am now. He has no idea what I've been through.

The way he's acting, like he's picturing me being actually gone from this world, it looks like it pains him. Like he actually does care about me, well Beatrice really, but still. I don't like seeing him pained, even if I am mad at him.

I sigh, and then decide I'm done with this conversation. I want to get off this emotional rollercoaster I just went on, so I start walking away from the chasm.

Four seems to regain himself, and grabs my arm as I try to pass him.

"Tell me that was a sick joke," he says sternly, his eyes glaring into mine. He sounds like the instructor Four again.

I stare back into his eyes, but am unable to tell him no, I am not dead. The truth is that the Beatrice he knew is really dead.

I stare at him for a few more seconds, then yank my arm away from his grasp, and walk away, not saying another word.

*******PAGE BREAK*******

I probably should have thanked Four for bringing me food earlier, because if he hadn't, I would've been a pile of goop right now. Eric, a creepy looking Dauntless leader, has been going on and on about what it means to be Dauntless, and all the rules for our initiation. Be here on time, do what you're told, blah blah blah. Can't I just go to sleep already?

Four hasn't spoken a word since we got into the training room. I don't know if it's because of what I told him, or he's just letting Eric do all the talking. I decide not to think too much on it though.

"Okay, Four here is going to teach you rugrats how to throw a knife," Eric says, snapping me out of my tired daze. I watch as Four flawlessly walks over to the table, and picks up three knives.

His face reminds me of what he said earlier. About hiding your emotions under a mask. I can tell he's doing that right now. I don't know what he's actually thinking about, but I can tell his mind is racing.

He walks over to the right spot, and positions himself to throw at the target. I watch as he closes his eyes momentarily, prepping himself, and takes a deep breath. His eyes open as the last of the air leaves his lungs, and he focuses on a point on the target.

I watch as his arm rises, holding firmly onto the knife, and in one fluid motion, he throws it, hitting the center. Not a second later, he does it again, and then again, all three knives hitting the center of the target.

I never imagined Toby would be able to do that, but at the same time, I'm not too surprised.

"Okay, everybody up. Grab some knives and start chucking," Eric says, and we follow his orders.

I stand positioned towards my target, and I mimic Four's movements, but without throwing the knife. I take deep breaths, and focus on one point. I hear Peter make another comment about me being a stiff, but I ignore him again.

I pause for a moment, feeling the knife in my hand, and for once in my life I feel powerful. I have the ability to hurt someone, not be the one hurting. The Abnegation in me is screaming for me to not think like that, but the hurt inside me pushes it away.

I look back at the target, and my eyes narrow as I imagine Marcus's face there. Those eyes, his wicked smile, everything I despise about him.

"What are you waiting for, Stiff?" I hear Eric say, as I get lost in my imagination. I see Marcus's face laughing at me, calling me worthless, and I snap. I grip the knife tightly, and my arm propels faster than I thought possible, and I release the knife, never losing my focus on the devil's face plastered on the target.

I think I screamed a little as I threw the knife, but I'm not really sure. All I know is that everyone in the room has stopped throwing, and are staring at me. I try to calm my breathing, as I stare at my knife, stuck in the target, a few inches away from the center. Not exactly where I was aiming, but by far better than anyone else has done. I try to ignore the hard glare Four has as he looks my way.

After a few moments of complete silence, Eric shouts, "Get back to throwing!" and everyone scrambles to their knives. The rest of the time I try throwing without having to picture Marcus as the target.

*******PAGE BREAK*******

We throw for what seems like hours, which is really only a half hour, until Eric finally shouts at us to stop. He tells us to gather around again, for another demonstration. This time he pulls out a gun. The gun doesn't scare me as much as the evil smirk on his face does.

"Now, we need a volunteer," he says, as he hands the gun over to Four and looks at all our faces. I can only imagine this isn't going to be good.

"Ah, how 'bout our best knife thrower. Come on up here, Stiff," Eric says, looking straight at me. I think I see a hint of worry flash in Four's eyes, but is gone before I have a chance to fully see.

"Go stand in front of the target," he says, and I know it would be pointless to not follow orders. Nothing good would come from it. I walk over to the target, take a deep breath, and position myself facing Four. Eric walks over to me, and I notice he has a muffin in his hand. He then places the muffin on my head, whispering in my ear not to move, and an involuntary shiver runs through my body. Luckily the muffin doesn't fall of my head.

"Go ahead Four," Eric say, motioning to Four to shoot the muffin off my head.

Four gives Eric an annoyed look, and then says, "Is this really necessary?"

Eric looks angry at the comment, and says, "Who is the leader here?" to Four, who just rolls his eyes and faces towards me.

I stare into his eyes, and even with the distance in between us I can see the worry in them. From his knife throwing skills, I can only imagine his shot can't be bad, but one slight movement of his hand and I could be dead.

Sadly, that sounds pretty good to me. Dying from the hands of a friend. Everything would be gone, and I would finally be at peace. But then all my hard work to get here would've been for nothing. I would've survived a whole year of torture for nothing.

I wonder if Four saw the look in my eyes; the one that says do it, shoot me. End this for me. Do what I could never do; end my pain. I notice his eyes soften a little, and then harden as he focuses on the muffin. I just stare into his eyes, and I see him take a deep breath, and his finger tightens on the trigger as he lets that breath go.

I don't even flinch as the bullet explodes the muffin on my head. Yea my heart is racing a thousand beats per minute, but I don't know if I'm sad that I'm still here or not. I guess I'm indecisive on the matter.

"Well that was fun," Eric says, bringing me back to reality. "All of you grab a gun and line up!"

I walk over to the gun table, and pick one up. I feel the coldness of the metal on my warm palm. The heaviness of it makes me think of the power it holds. The power to kill.

I don't imagine a face on the target as I raise my arm and fire.

*******PAGE BREAK*******

After we were done shooting was dinner. It flew by, with mostly Will and Christina talking. I was just trying to stay awake while I ate my, what was it called, oh yea, my burger.

After dinner we had free time again. I didn't care though; I just walked straight to the dorms, and slid onto my bed.

I was asleep within seconds of my head hitting the pillow.

* * *

**Four's POV**

I sit on the train, staring out at the world passing by. I think back to a little while ago, when I had to shoot that stupid muffin off of Tris's head. I saw that look in her eyes. It wasn't of terror, or fear of being shot. No, it was almost relief. I'm almost positive she imagined me shooting her, killing her, and it made her almost happy.

I don't know why I care so much about her, but I do. She reminds me of myself, because of how she has been hurt. But she also reminds me of Bea. It's mostly her eyes that remind me of her. They're the same color as Bea's, but the light Bea's eyes held is not there. I can tell Tris has been through a lot just by the look in her eyes.

I'm on my way to Abnegation. I haven't been back since I left, haven't even thought of coming back because of Marcus, but after what Tris said I have to. I have to make sure Bea is okay; that she's not….dead. It would kill me if Bea was dead.

I hop off the train when it's the close to Abnegation. I take off running as soon as my feet hit the ground. The sun had already set, but the sky is still bright enough for me to see where I'm going.

I make my way to the street I used to walk every day with Bea from school. I remember walking with her to her house, just to make sure she got there safe. I picture us hugging like we always did, on her front porch, and me telling her that I'd see her tomorrow.

I didn't exactly plan what I would do when I got here; this was sort of a spur of the moment decision. I left right after dinner, without even thinking about the consequences if I got caught. I mean, I'm pretty well liked in Dauntless, except by Eric of course, because of ranking first in initiation last year, and earning the name Four with my four fears.

I walk up to the door, and I pause for a moment. I don't know what I'm going to say. Sorry for leaving you? I'm sorry I lied to you? She probably hates me.

But still, I have to make sure she's alright, so my hand lifts up and knocks on the door. I wait a few moments, and then I hear footsteps make their way to the door.

I half expect Bea to open the door, so I'm a little surprised when I see Caleb open the door.

"Hello, Caleb," I say, as I watch Caleb's eyes widen as he stares at my black clothing. "It's me, Tobias. Can I come in for a moment?" I ask, and saying my name almost feels foreign to me. It's been so long since I've said it.

I watch as he tries to decide if he should let me in, but the Abnegation in him wins as he moves aside so I can enter. He then closes the door behind me, and motions me to come into the living room.

"Mom, dad, we have a guest," Caleb calls out. I wonder why he didn't call for Bea.

Mr. and Mrs. Prior enter the room, and I can tell by their expressions that they don't realize it's me.

"This is Tobias," Caleb says, gesturing towards me. I watch as Bea's mom's eyes widen, and then a sad smile forms on her face.

"Oh Tobias, it's so nice to see you again," she says. "How are you?" she asks, the typical Abnegation greeting.

I smile a little, and say, "I'm good, thank you. How are you?" I ask back.

"I'm fine, thank you," she says, but her smile slowly disappears, and I see her take a deep breath. Mr. Prior motions for all of us to sit down, and they all have their eyes on me.

I ask what's been on my mind since I entered the house. "Where's Bea? I mean, Beatrice?"

My heart sinks as I see a tear fall down Mrs. Prior's cheek. No. Oh god no.

Mr. Prior then speaks, breaking the silence. "Tobias, Beatrice….Beatrice is no longer with us," he says, and his posture slouches, telling me what he says is true.

I stop breathing. I haven't felt anything like this since I left her, but this is a hundred times worse. She's gone?

"How?" I manage to get out, as I run my fingers through my hair and keep my eyes fixed on the floor.

"We don't know," Caleb says after a few moments of silence. He probably spoke up because his parents can't find their voices right now.

I stand up, and look right at Caleb. "What do you mean you don't know?!" I demand.

Mr. Prior then stands, and places a hand on my shoulder, something very un-Abnegation like. "Tobias, please," he says, as he gestures for me to sit again.

I sit back down, and press my palms to my eyes, clamping them shut.

"After you left, Beatrice….she changed. We thought she was just distraught that her best friend left, but now…we think it was because of something else," Mr. Prior explains. I can tell this is hard for him, but he knows I need answers.

"We found this note this morning," Caleb says, and he pulls out a piece of paper from his pocket, and hands it to me.

It read: _Dear mom and dad, and Caleb too,_

_I'm sorry, but I'm leaving. I can't explain why, and I don't think you'd believe me even if I did. I just have to leave. I've never been able to be completely selfless, like you want me to. Please know that I love you all so much, but I can't do this any longer. _

_I can't tell you where I'm going, and I don't know if I'll ever see any of you ever again. I only have one request for you. Don't trust Marcus Eaton. Whatever he tells you, whatever he does, don't trust him. And don't let Caleb go over there to "help" him with anything, ever._

_Please be safe, and maybe someday we will meet again._

_I love you,_

_Beatrice._

"You found this today?" I ask, finding my voice again after reading the note.

I see them nod. I skim over the note again, trying to imagine her writing it. It doesn't sound at all like the Bea I used to know.

"Wait, why does she mention my father in here?" I ask, confused. I start to get nervous, imagining the worst.

"Well after you left, your father asked for Beatrice's help around the house. She's been helping him all year," Mrs. Prior explains, and my heart drops even more, if possible.

No. He got to her. He hurt her. There's no other reason why she would leave than that. Tears start to form in my eyes, and I rise from my seat.

"Um, thank you for your time," I say, as I rush to the door. The second I hit outside, I run, as tears blur my vision and race down my cheeks.

I haven't cried in years. In Dauntless, I never show emotions. And before that, I couldn't cry in front of Marcus; that only made it worse. But now, knowing that my evil father got to Bea; it kills me. I should have done something. I should have stayed, I should have warned her, anything! Now she could be anywhere, among the factionless, or worse.

I wish so badly for me to be able to find her, for me to tell her how truly sorry I am. I know she'll never forgive me, especially if the beating she got were anything like mine, but I just wish I could talk to her again.

I don't know how, but I end up on the train back to Dauntless, my mind filled with nothing but Bea and sorrow.

*******PAGE BREAK*******

It's getting close to curfew as I make my way back into Dauntless. I try to shut off my emotions, and become Four again as I walk through the compound, but with everything I just learned it's not so easy. I decide to go to the one place where I've always been able to think; the chasm.

As I near the chasm though, I hear a scream, and I take off running, expecting to see the aftermath of someone taking their life. What I didn't expect to see when I reach the top is Tris, being held against the railing by two guys, and a third with his hands up Tris's shirt.

My eyes meet Tris's for a moment, and I see pure terror in them.

* * *

**Sorry for the cliff hanger, but this was such a long chapter, I had to end it somewhere. I love reading reviews, so please please please REVIEW! Thank you for reading, I hope you like it! More to come whenever I have time to write ;)**


	4. Chapter 4

**Tris's POV**

I wake with a startle as I'm being pulled from my bed. A hand covers my mouth, muffling my scream as my mind tries to wake up and process what's going on. A blindfold wraps around my eyes, making it impossible to see who my attackers are.

My heart starts to race, imagining Marcus doing this. But that's impossible. It can't be him.

I feel my body being dragged out of the room and to who knows where, and I try to shake the people gripping me tightly off. It doesn't work, still from being overly tired and they have strong death grips on me. The hand still hasn't moved from my mouth.

"Hurry up," I hear a male's voice say, from a voice in front of us. That must mean there's another one.

My racing heart only beats faster as I hear the sounds of the chasm near. I don't know why though, death doesn't sound too bad to me lately. But maybe deep down inside of me the will to live is trying to resurface.

The roar of the chasm loudens, telling me where I am. Suddenly my back is pressed up against the railing, and the blindfold is ripped from my eyes. My eyes blur from the pain of my back hitting the railing, and from the sudden light, and after a few moments they adjust, revealing the faces of my attackers.

Drew is holding down my right arm, and Al is holding my left and still covering my mouth. I knew I couldn't trust anyone here.

Standing in front of me is Peter, with a wicked smile on his face.

"How's it going, Stiff?" he asks, as he stalks closer to me. I narrow my eyes at him, the only thing I really can do.

"Not so tough now, are you? I'm getting tired of you showing me up," he growls at me. "We're going to have to do something about that."

His fist rises before I have time to even realize, and connects with a hard blow to my face.

Being hit doesn't faze me that much, I've gotten used to it. I think it shocked the two guys next to me more.

"What the hell, Peter? You said we were just going to scare her," Drew says.

"That's what we're doing, Drew. Now shut up!" he growls again, as he knees me in the stomach. I close my eyes as my body instinctively numbs, practically shuts down, as a defense mechanism I've learned to do since Marcus. More punches and kicks are thrown into me, and I can tell my lack of reaction is getting on Peter's nerves.

He expects me to cry, to try and scream. But I'm used to this. That's not how I handle this.

As I wait for the next blow to come, my eyes widen as I feel Peter's hands on me, at the bottom of my shirt.

I bite down hard on Al's hand, and he momentarily draws it back, allowing me to get out a scream before he smacks it back on my face.

Peter's hands rise more, and my heart races faster. No. Please no.

His hands reach my chest, and suddenly Peter's face morphs into Marcus's. My breathing stops, tears form in my eyes, and I get lost. He's here. He found me. He's going to do that to me again!

Out of the corner of my eye I see movement, and I see, yet I don't really see because I'm so lost, a figure staring back at me.

"Ha, the Stiff feels like a 12 year old," the Marcus in front of me laughs.

I'm too lost in this nightmare to register what happens next. A blur rushes to me, and suddenly the hands vanish from my chest. My heart is still racing, and my breathing is coming out way too fast. I'm starting to get light headed, and the Marcus that was touching me is gone, but I can still see this imaginary Marcus clearly.

I clamp my eyes shut, and I don't even realize the hands restraining me have vanished, making me fall to my hands and knees. I can't stop hyperventilating. Make this stop!

I let out a wild scream, as tears rush down my face. I hear the Marcus laugh at me, and I feel him getting closer. No….no! "Get away from me, Marcus!" I scream, only earning another menacing laugh from him.

I slowly back away from him stalking towards me, who I still don't realize is just in my head. I'm too lost in the nightmare to tell what's real and what's not.

I feel the coldness of the chasm railings on my back, not even feeling the pain I did earlier, because I'm still too lost. My breathing, if possible, has quickened, and I slowly stand up with the help of the railing.

There's no way I can get away from him. I can't out run him, and trying would only make it worse.

My vision is so blurred, but as I turn my head I can barely make out the rushing water below. It's the only way out.

My shaking hand grips the top of the railing, and I start to move my leg up. I hear someone scream, but it sounds so far away I can't make it out. My leg swings over the top, and I'm straddling the railing.

I try to clear my head, not wanting it to be so foggy in my last moments.

I hear another scream, this time closer, but I still can't figure out what they're saying. My heart is racing a million beats per second, muffling everything around me, and my vision is still so blurred.

All of a sudden I feel hands on me, pulling me back off the railing. I scream, thrash, do anything to get away from Marcus. But it's no use. He's too strong.

My heart races too fast, my breathing too fast, and I can feel the world around me start to slip.

The last thing I hear as the world around me fades, is someone say, "Bea."

* * *

**Four's POV**

I lose it as I see that guy Peter's hands on Tris. I run at him as I hear him say something about her being twelve, and I rip him away from her. I start beating the living crap out of him, and I ignore his pleas for mercy.

Out of the corner of my eye I see Tris drop to her hands and knees as the two guys holding her let go, with one of them running away down the hall. The other one slowly stalks towards me, and when I notice Peter is no longer conscious, I go to attack him. Drew, I think his name is, tries to throw a punch at me, but I easily dodge it and start beating him senseless too.

A voice pulls me out of my rage, when I hear Tris scream, and then say, "Get away from me, Marcus!"

I freeze. What did she just say? I look over to her about ten feet away, and I can tell she's completely lost in a memory, pure terror shown on her face.

She said Marcus. That's not possible though. He would never risk the chance of getting caught by going after someone else. Unless….unless they were in the comfort of his own home.

'_Your father asked for Beatrice's help around the house. She's been helping him all year,_" I hear a voice say in my head, and my eyes widen at the sudden realization.

Bea.

I'm brought back to reality when I see her, I see Tris, and now I see Bea, straddling the railing.

"Tris!" I scream, hoping to get her attention, as I rush towards her.

She pauses for another moment, and this time I scream, "Bea!" as I am only a few feet away from her now.

I reach her, and without another thought I grab her and pull her tightly against me, falling on the ground with her tightly in my arms. She trashes, trying to get away from me, and I realize she must think I'm Marcus, with her still being in the nightmare.

Her thrashing starts to slow, and I try to get her to hear me when I say, "Bea," this time calmer, hoping she'll come back.

Her body suddenly goes limp in my arms, and I turn her around so I can see her face. Her eyes are shut, but she's breathing. Her breaths are starting to calm down, and I can tell she just passed out. I see the sweat and the tears mixed on her face, and I brush the hair away as I look at her.

I didn't even notice how fast my heart was racing, but it's starting to calm down now that I know she's safe, here in my arms.

I take a moment to look at her, and I can now see Bea in her. Sadly it took her to be unconscious for me to see it, but I see it nonetheless.

I gently pick her up, and quickly make my way to my room.

I get there in no time, and I start to get a little worried when I notice she hasn't woken up yet.

I gently lay her on my bed, just as she starts to stir.

* * *

**Ok this chapter is a little shorter than normal, but I had less time to write it today. Hope you like it, and please REVIEW! Thanks for reading!**


	5. Chapter 5

**Thank you all for the amazing reviews! Keep them coming! Here's more!**

* * *

**Tris's POV**

I suppress a groan as my hands come up to my head, willing the headache to go away. I feel like I was hit by a train.

I rub my face, still not opening my eyes. The bed shifts a little, and I suddenly realize I'm not alone.

My eyes shoot open, and I groan this time from the brightness. I see a blurry figure next to me, and I try to scoot as far away from them as possible. Suddenly everything that happened comes rushing back as I see Four in sitting on the bed next to me.

I pull my knees up towards my chest, and I rest my head on them. Why won't this world and its torture just let me go?

"I'm sorry," I hear him say, and I look up at him. It kind of looks like he's been crying.

"What are you sorry for?" I ask quietly, my voice raspy from screaming earlier. "I should be thanking you for saving me." I turn to look at the wall, avoiding his eyes.

He gets off the bed, and out of my peripheral I see him turn his back towards me. A hand runs through his hair, and he turns back towards me as he quietly says, "I'm sorry for everything, Bea."

He knows. He knows it's me. Tears form in my eyes, for unknown reasons to me, and I try to blink them away. I should be happy; I don't have to hide it from him anymore. But I don't know if I am, because I'm still mad at him.

He sits back on the bed next to me, and I watch as he presses his palms to his face. He looks a lot older than he is when he does that. "I never thought he would…" he trails off, but I understand what he was going to say.

"Yeah, well neither did I," I say bitterly, and I notice him flinch a little at my tone.

He then turns towards me, and I see tears in his eyes. I've never seen Toby cry.

"Bea, please. You have to believe me when I tell you I thought leaving was for the best," he starts, and a tear falls down his cheek.

I sigh, and get off the bed. I stand a few feet away from him, looking in the opposite direction.

I take a deep breath, then turn towards him, my eyes narrowing.

"It's Tris," I say quietly. "Bea's dead. She died a long time ago." I try to ignore the hurt look I see in his eyes, and so I turn back around, and start walking towards the door.

"Wait, please. Don't go," he whispers, and I stop. I don't owe him anything. I can leave right now, and move on with my life. But something inside me tells me not to do that.

I contemplate inside myself for a moment, and then turn back around and sit on the bed, a few feet away from him.

"Alright, talk," I say, staring at the wall again.

I see him stare at me for a moment, and then speaks up.

"I'm so sorry," he begins, but I cut him off.

"If you keep apologizing, I'm going to smack you. Now just talk," I say, getting annoyed. Sleep sounds so much more fun than this right now.

"I had to leave. Marcus was using me as his personal punching bag," he says quietly. _I know the feeling_, I think to myself. "I didn't want to though, because I didn't want to leave you. I thought that if I stayed, Marcus might come after you too. Turns out I was wrong when I thought he wouldn't bother you if I was gone."

He's quiet for a few minutes, so I decide to speak up.

"Why Four?" I ask, catching him off guard and confusing him.

"What?" he asks, and he looks into my eyes with his confused ones.

"Why is your name here Four?" I ask again, and I watch as he understands the question this time.

"Ah. I have four fears, the lowest in Dauntless history. And I was sick of being Tobias when I came here," he says. "Are we playing the question game now?" he asks, and a sad smile forms on his face.

When we were younger, we used to play a simple game, where he would ask me a question, and then I would ask him one, and so forth. Usually they were just any question we could think of at the time.

I smile a little at the memory of us younger, and nod. His smile grows a little too.

"Okay, so my turn. What happened after I left?" he asks, getting serious again. I'm quiet for a few moments, and so he says, "Please, Tris. I need to know."

I sigh, knowing I should tell him. "A week after you left, Marcus asked for help around his house, and I got volunteered. Since that day, I was used as the punching bag a few times a week. He threatened my family if I told anyone, or if I didn't show up," I say quietly.

Toby slid a little closer to me as I talked, and when I finished he carefully grabs my hand. I instantly tense, but slowly relax as I remember who this is I'm talking to.

"Okay my turn," I say. "Why did you keep this from me?"

This time he sighs, and looks down at our intertwined hands.

"I didn't want to scare you," he says, which confuses me. "Don't get me wrong when I say this, but you were only fourteen, and I didn't want to scare you if I told you. I didn't want you to think that I would hurt you like he hurt me," he says quietly.

I nod, understanding a little, but at the same time am still hurt he never told me.

"How are you here?" he asks. "You're only fifteen. There's no way you could have transferred a year early."

I smile a little, remembering how I did the impossible.

"I had to get away," I start. "I couldn't survive another year of….that. So on the days I wasn't supposed to be at Marcus's house, I went to work with my father, who taught me how to use the computers. Eventually I was able to create a new identity, and put myself into the choosing ceremony."

I smile a little more as I see the shocked look on his face. I can't remember the last time I actually smiled.

I get ready to ask him another question, when I notice his face fall, and he opens his mouth to talk.

"Can I see?" he asks quietly, averting his eyes from mine. My brows furrow in confusion, not understanding what he's asking. But then he looks up at me again, and says, "Your back. I saw the bloody shirt you had," and my face then falls too.

I've never showed anyone. And it kind of terrifies me to think of showing someone. But before I have time to say anything, Toby rises from the bed, turns away from me, and takes his shirt off. I see a beautiful canvas of ink all over, but underneath it all I see the scars.

I slowly rise from the bed and walk towards him, and my hand reaches out without me thinking about it, and gently I touch the scars. I feel him tense underneath my touch, but then relaxes a little. I trace each one, imagining the pain from each whip that caused these.

After a few moments, Tobias grabs his shirt and puts it back on, then turns towards me. I watch as his hand rises slowly towards my face, and he wipes the tear that falls down my cheek. I didn't even realize I was crying.

We sit back down on the bed, and I look into his eyes as I nod. I then close my eyes as I turn around, my back facing him.

I tense as I feel his hands slowly grip my shirt, and he carefully starts to pull it up, revealing the past scars and the newer cuts all on my back. I hear him quietly gasp as he sees it all.

After a moment, he puts my shirt back down, and I turn back around to face him. We're now only a foot apart.

He takes both my hands into his, and he stares down at them. He's quiet for a while, so I decide to speak again.

I take a deep breath, and say, "What would you say if I told you that isn't the worst that happened?" I close my eyes, not wanting to see his reaction.

"What…what do you mean?" he asks, and I open my eyes and meet his. He stares back into mine.

"I'm not going to say it, Toby," I say dejectedly, looking away from him. His hands tighten a little on mine, and then he lets go as he rises from the bed. He grabs the first thing he finds, a book, and chucks it at the wall across the room.

"That son of a bitch!" he screams, as he paces the room. "I'm going to kill him!"

"Get in line," I say quietly. I'm too tired to do much more than that.

Toby turns back towards me, and he seems to calm down as he walks back towards me.

"This is all my fault. I'm so sorry, Tris. None of this would have happened if I hadn't left you," he says quietly, as he sits back down.

I sigh, look back at the wall again, and say, "There's nothing we can do about it now," because there isn't.

Toby then scoots closer to me, making me look at him. He grabs both of my hands, and this time I don't flinch. Strange.

He stares into my eyes, and says, "I'm not asking you to do this now, but is there any way you will be able to forgive me for all of this someday?" I stare back into his eyes, and I see the caring Toby I once knew.

I don't answer though. I can't promise that, at least not yet. I just close my eyes, and I try to fight the exhaustion.

I hear Toby sigh. "You look exhausted," he says. "I'm not letting you go to the dorms tonight. I may have done a shitty job in the past to protect you, but now that I have you back, I'm going to try my best to keep you safe. You're staying here tonight," he says, and I look up at him.

I think I shock us both when I scoot closer to him, and wrap my arms around him into a hug. It takes him a second to register what I'm doing, but then his arms slowly and carefully move around me, engulfing me into his warm embrace. We sit there for what seems like forever, just holding each other together.

I eventually pull away, and I for some reason miss his warmth. I look up at his face again, and I smile as I see a smile on his face.

He then shocks me when he pushes me, making me fall back onto the bed so I'm lying down. My mouth hangs wide open, but I can't hide the smile. He laughs a little, and then says, "You need sleep. You have a few busy days to come, missy." Did he just call me missy?

He then moves to get off the bed, to find another place to sleep, but I shock myself by saying, "Wait. Can you…I mean, um, would you…" I stumble as to what I want to say. I'm not even sure, but I know I don't want to kick him out of his bed, and I also know I don't want to be alone.

Somehow though, he seems to have understood my gibberish, because he smiles back at me and comes back towards the bed. I slide under the covers and move over, giving him room to slide in too.

We lay almost as far apart as we possibly can. I'm pretty sure this is a first for both of us, coming from Abnegation. But we're not Abnegation anymore, and I feel like I finally do my first act of Dauntless when I scoot over towards him, and rest my head on his shoulder.

With the heat from his body pressed against mine, and the rhythmic beat of his heart, I quickly fall asleep; for once not scared, but content.

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**Thanks for reading, I hope you like it! More to come, only if you keep REVIEWING! Like I've said before, I love reading them!**


	6. Chapter 6

**Tobias's POV**

I wake with a start, and it takes me a few moments to realize Tris is thrashing around next to me.

Her arms are flailing around, and in the darkness I see tears all over her face.

I carefully grab her arms, so she doesn't hurt herself any more than she might already have, and I feel her try to get out of my grip.

"Let go of me!" she screams, and I almost let her go until I realize her eyes are still closed, and she's still dreaming.

"Tris, it's me, it's Toby. You're safe here. You have to wake up," I say gently, trying to pull her back to reality. She must not be able to hear me in whatever world she is in right now, because she starts to thrash around even more, making it difficult for me to hold her down.

Suddenly her arm yanks out of my grasp, and an elbow nails me in the gut. Uffda.

Without thinking, I roll on top of her, pinning down her arms and legs using mine. Her cries start to become louder, and her head thrashes from side to side.

"Tris, wake up!" I say, and she still doesn't hear me.

"Bea, please!" I yell, not knowing what to do to get her back to me.

All of a sudden, her eyes widen, and her body becomes tense as a board under mine. Through the darkness I see the fear in her eyes. The fear I never wanted to see again.

"Bea, it's me. It's Toby," I say, hoping she sees me when she looks at me, and not someone else like last time.

Her eyes stare into mine, for what seems like eternity, and then I feel her relax.

"I'm sorry," she whispers, as she closes her eyes.

"It's okay, Tris. You don't need to apologize to me," I say, and I resist the urge to push the hair out of her face. What is wrong with me?

She opens her eyes again, and stares back at me. Then, a small smile forms on her face. She's beautiful when she smiles.

"What's so funny?" I ask, unsure as to why her smile keeps getting bigger.

She laughs a little, and then says, "Could you get your fat butt off me?" as she tries to throw me off her.

I keep my hands locked on her wrists, making her unable to move. "Wait, did you just call me fat?" I ask, a smile forming on my face.

"Yes, I did," she says, and again tries to get me off her, but I'm not having any of that after what she just said.

I bring both her arms up over her head, and lock them together using one of my hands, making the other one free. The smile on her face falters a bit, but stays on her face, telling me I am okay to continue. I don't want to scare her, just have a little fun with her.

I slowly let my other hand creep down, and when it reaches her side, I start tickling her. She screams, and tries to move her arms out of my grasp, but I just laugh and continue. Her laughter mixes with mine. It's an amazing sound.

I think I got too caught up with watching her laugh, because the next thing I know her arms are free, and she's pushing me off her. I not-so-gracefully fall on the floor with a thud, and her laughter stops immediately.

She rolls to the side of the bed, and looks down at me with shocked eyes.

"Oh my gosh, Toby, I'm so sorry!" she says, but the smile on her face gives her away. She then starts laughing again, and the scowl on my face turns to a smile, until I am fully laughing with her. I can't remember the last time I had this much fun with someone.

"I didn't…think you'd…fall like that," she says through her laughter. I just lay there, on the ground, watching her laugh. She looks so carefree when she laughs. So beautiful.

After a while she finally calms down, and then stares at me. She holds her hand out to help me up, and I grab it, but I then pull her down off the bed on top of me. She screams a little, but is soon laughing again as I start tickling her. I hold her tightly against my body with one arm, and the other is used to run up and down along her side.

I eventually stop tickling her, and she rests her head on my chest as she tries to calm down and control her breathing. I for some reason can't stop smiling.

After a few moments of silence, I say, "Tris," to get her attention.

She raises her head, and looks into my eyes, a smile on her face matching mine.

My hand that's not still holding her body tightly against mine comes up, and brushes the hair out of her face and behind her ear.

I have the sudden urge to kiss her. Never in my life would I have thought about kissing Bea, but everything inside of me is telling me to just lean forward and press my lips to hers.

She continues to look at me, still smiling that beautiful smile, as she waits for me to say something.

I lean my head up from the ground, closer to her. I think I feel her breath hitch, and I almost back away, thinking I scared her. But as I continue to look into her eyes, she doesn't look fearful. There's something there I can't read.

When I'm about an inch from her mouth, I dart my head to the side, so my lips are right up against her ear.

I then whisper, "Could you get your fat butt off me?" throwing her words back at her.

I pull my head back, and see the shocked and dazed look on her face. I just laugh, a real genuine laugh, and push her off me.

"Hey!" she half screams, half laughs. Her arm comes up, to smack me right in the chest, but I easily catch it. I then rise to my feet, still holding her arm, and then pull her up with me.

I wrap my arms around her, and rest my chin on her head, just holding her. Her arms then wrap around me.

I pull my head back, and she looks up at me. Again, she has that beautiful smile on her face. It's hard to imagine I almost lost her a few hours ago.

I brush the hair out of her eyes again, and my hand pauses at the back of her neck. I internally debate as to whether or not I should kiss her. But after a few moments, I just sigh, and pull back a little.

"We should get some sleep," I say, as I pull us both towards the bed. I can't help but notice the smile on her face fell a little, but it is quickly replaced by a yawn, making us both laugh.

"Yea, you're probably right," she says while yawning, as we both slide under the covers again. It's a lot less awkward this time, where we're not on the edges of the bed, but rather she just curls up into my side right when I pull the covers up.

"Hey, I'm your instructor, I'm always right," I say cockily, earning another laugh from her.

"Goodnight, Toby," she says, and I can feel her relaxing against me.

"Goodnight, Tris," I reply, and I kiss the top of her head. I fall asleep smiling within a few minutes.

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**Thanks for reading, I hope you like it! It's a little shorter chapter than normal, but I felt there had to be a happy chapter thrown in here eventually. Please review, I love reading them, like I've said before! I hopefully will write more for you soon!**


	7. Chapter 7

**Tris's POV**

I slowly wake up, and it takes me a moment to realize that I'm not panicking or screaming like I normally do when I sleep. I usually can't sleep more than a few hours without waking myself up from a nightmare.

I slowly open my eyes, and find myself still curled up into Toby's side. I smile a little, realizing he kept the nightmares away.

Last night, I had the dream I always have, where Marcus is coming after me. And when I woke up, I was being pinned to the bed, I thought the worst. But as I stared into the eyes of the person pinning me, I saw Toby, with a worried look.

I felt bad for waking him up. But he was absolutely perfect, where he actually got me to smile, and laugh! I haven't had that much fun since before he left.

It's weird, but I kind of like us close like this. Normally, I hate any kind of physical contact, but with Toby, it feels natural.

And I think I wanted him to kiss me last night. We were so close, our mouths inches apart. And I didn't even feel an inch of panic, because I knew it was Toby, and I knew he would never do anything I didn't want him to. But I was kind of disappointed when he didn't kiss me.

I shift on the bed a little, and stare at his face. He looks so peaceful, and so much like the Toby I once knew. Not like the scary Four he is now sometimes.

I watch as he stirs a little, and rolls onto his side, facing me, as his arms wrap around me. I tense for a moment, expecting my back to hurt when he touches it, but relax when I feel it not hurt. Strange, that cream must have worked wonders.

I feel his breath on my face, as our faces are only inches apart. I smile a little, and then watch as his eyes start to flutter open.

"Hey," I say quietly, staring into his eyes as he wakes up. I think it takes him a moment to realize where he is or something, but eventually he smiles, and his arms around me tighten a little, pulling me closer to him.

He puts his head in the crook of my neck, and says something, but is too muffled for me to understand it. I laugh a little, and say, "What was that?" I actually feel amazing this morning, and I know it's all because of Toby.

He talks again, but with his face in my neck I don't understand it, which makes me laugh a little some more. He moves his face a little on my neck, and the tiny stubble he has tickles me, causing me to scream a little and push him away.

He looks at me, and that stupid smile is plastered on his face.

"Jerk," I say, laughing a little, but he just puts his arms around my waist again and pulls me close, to where our faces are inches apart again.

"Morning to you too, sunshine," he says with a smile, staring into my eyes. I feel my heart start to beat faster, and not from fear. I stare into his eyes, and I feel the urge to press my lips to his. Never in a million years imagined kissing Toby.

"Ya know, this is the first time I've woken up with a girl in my bed," he says, as one of his arms comes up to his face and rubs the tiredness from his eyes. The other one is still hooked around me, keeping me close to him.

"Well aren't I a lucky girl then," I joke back, still smiling, and hoping he can't feel my heart jumping out of my chest.

He brings his arm back around me, and stares into my eyes, and then he whispers, "No, I'm the lucky one here," and I watch as his face starts to move closer to mine.

I feel my breathing hitch, and I'm pretty sure he felt it to, because he stops moving an inch from my face, still staring into my eyes.

I think I shock us both, which I seem to be doing a lot lately, when I close the distance between us and press my lips to his.

We both are frozen momentarily, but then my eyes close as I feel his arms tighten around me as he leans into the kiss. My arms wrap around his neck, pulling him even closer to me, if possible.

After a few moments, he pulls back, and my eyes open to see his eyes shining back at mine, with those lips I just kissed forming a smile.

I'm pretty sure I can't make the smile on my face go away even if I tried. I just kissed Toby!

"Yeah, I'm definitely the lucky one," he says, still smiling at me.

I just roll my eyes at him, and try to push him off the bed, which only makes him laugh and his grip on me tighten.

He puts his head back into the crook of my neck, and I ask, "So what are we doing today, instructor Four?" laughing a little as I call him that.

He says something, again it being muffled in my neck, which only causes me to laugh some more.

He removes his face from my neck with a grin on his face, and says, "I like when you laugh," which only causes me to roll my eyes at him again.

But the smile on his face falls a little, as he says, "Fights. You guys have to fight each other."

The smile on my face vanishes too as I suddenly think about my attackers last night.

I can't let them think they beat me. If I survived Marcus for a whole year, I can easily get over what they did to me. So I want to show them I'm not afraid of them.

I look at Toby again, and then say, "You pick the pairs for the fights, right?"

He gets a confused look on his face as he says, "Yeah, why?"

"Pair me up with Peter," I say, matter-of-factly.

His eyes widen, and then I see the anger in them.

"Tris, you don't have to prove anything to anyone," he says, looking into my eyes. "You are the strongest person I know."

"No, Toby. I need to prove that I'm not afraid of them, or they might try and do something like that again. I can take him. I know I can," I say, hoping he'll let me fight him.

I watch as he thinks it over, and then sighs. "I don't want to watch you get hurt anymore," he says, closing his eyes.

I bring my hand up, and run it through his hair. Where did that come from?

"I'll be fine," I say, combing my fingers through his hair again. When did we become so close to each other?

He opens his eyes again, and suddenly his lips are on mine. After a second of realizing what's going on, I smile a little and fade into the kiss. But all too soon, he pulls back, with a smirk on his face.

"I just wanted to do that again," he says, as he starts to get up from the bed. Well you can do that whenever you want, I think to myself.

"Oh I can?" he says, looking at me, the smirk even bigger on his face.

"Did I just say that out loud?" I ask, as the blush forms on my cheeks. He just laughs, and crawls back on the bed, and places a tiny kiss on my lips again.

"Yes, you did. But that's okay," he says smiling, and then he walks away to the bathroom.

I just lay there for a moment, staring up at the ceiling.

Within two days, my life was at the worst it has ever been, and possibly the best it's ever been. I went from being beaten, bruised, and worse, to waking up actually happy for once, and having the best first kiss with one of my best friends from forever ago.

I can't remember the last time I was this happy. And I don't want that to change.

I hear Toby come out of the bathroom, with nothing but a towel on his waist. I blush, and try to look away, but my gaze gets captured by the wonderful ink covering his back.

"I forgot to grab clothes," he says, as he digs to find something. I didn't even realize he had showered. How long was I just lying there?

I quietly get up off of the bed, and quickly walk up behind him as his back is turned from me. I place my hands carefully on his shoulders, and then shock myself when I place my lips right in between his shoulder blades, kissing a scar under the ink. I then move a little, and kiss another spot, and continue doing that for most of his back.

He suddenly turns around, and there's a look in his eyes that I can't describe. His hands come up, and brush the hair out of my face, and then he says, "Thank you," as he stares into my eyes.

I get a confused look, and then ask, "For what?" but am suddenly silenced when his mouth is on mine again. I press myself closer to him, feeling the warmth of his body close to mine, and we stand there kissing for what seems like eternity.

Eventually, we pull apart to breathe, and I see his smile match mine. I playfully shove him, and say, "Put some clothes on," as I walk into the bathroom. I'm surprised I wasn't shyer, seeing as he was wearing nothing but a towel.

When I enter the bathroom, my hand comes up to my smile and I feel my lips, imagining kissing Toby again.

I could get used to kissing Toby.

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**Sorry for such a delay in between chapters, been really busy. But please keep the reviews coming!**


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